Rest Is For The Wicked

A Goblin's Story

My name is Flak. My friend Sir Walter is teaching me to read! And write! That’s amazing, because I’m a goblin, and I never met a goblin that could read before! I’ll have to teach some of them, because I think they would like to read this! Maybe this will inspire them.

To practice, I’m going to write about my adventures, which are going really well. Right now I’m on a ship, but I’ll tell you about that later, first, how it all began…

I left my village, just on the other side of The River, because I need to learn things. I need to learn how to lead my cousins. To make them stop killing people for fun. To stop being cruel and lazy and get them to try to help others! I had a dream showing me the answers were away from home, so I left.

The first few days were pretty boring. I swam across The River, traveled toward the direction that seemed right.

I woke up one morning and I heard something! I thought it might be a human because I had slept near a village. They usually throw out perfectly good things to eat and I had taken some during the night. Very tasty. But it was a goat! That was a surprise. I figured it had wandered over from the village, so I took it back. While doing that, I saw other goblins shooting arrows at the village! They were catching it on fire! I tried to put out the fire, but it didn’t help. Then I heard a cry. A young human! I rushed into the fiery building and had to search all over the place to find the child. It was so scared! I carried it out just to be surrounded by humans and an elf. I knew the villagers would kill me, because I just looked like another goblin stealing their children! So I asked the elf to not kill me, in Elven even, and he stopped them. Later on, I found out his name was Silvanus and he was a wizard! He tries really hard to be friendly, but he is so busy thinking about things, that he forgets about being friendly sometimes. I like him alot.

While I was standing there, I saw two humans wearing armor and some villagers fighting goblins. They were doing very well! None of the goblins were my cousins. I don’t know where they came from. One of the humans was Sir Walter, a knight, who had a symbol that I saw in my dream. He’s going to teach me how to lead my people! He’s really nice and is teaching me to read and protects me from mean humans and leads us in adventure! He is a great knight.

The other human was Barnabus. He hired them to go to some mountain and do something, so I went with them. Scruffles, the goat that I was taking to the village, decided to come along and so she’s my friend too.

We left the village and headed towards the mountains…


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